There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
