my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
