My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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