Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
