I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
