let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
