peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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