if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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