I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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