I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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