I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
