lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
