i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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