Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
