the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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