okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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