What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Send help, water and tortillas.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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