your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
