I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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