Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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