They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
