And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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