I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
