: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize