they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
