you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
