I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
