i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
