I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
