is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
