I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
