the day after is always just damage control
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
