my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
