I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
When are your genitals available?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
