names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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