i need an iv and a liver transplant
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm just crazy horny about you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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