I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
