When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
