You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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