Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
