your parents love me but you hate me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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