So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
