I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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