So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
