that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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