The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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