Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
