I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
