So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
