he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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