Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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